


The Starry Night In All Its Glory

by rosworms



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M, Short Stories, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, Wincest - Freeform, soul mates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-09 11:39:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5538494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosworms/pseuds/rosworms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of disjointed scenes and short stories from a universe where everyone sees black and white until they meet their soulmates, and then their world becomes colorful until their soulmate dies. And Sam and Dean are soulmates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Goodbye Jessica

Jessica’s was gone. Sam felt her loss and he grieved for the life that was cut short. He loved her.

But, as tragic and as revenge-worthy as her death was, he didn’t feel the soul crushing lurch he’d expected at the loss of the one he’d planned to marry. The world did not collapse around him. Life did not pause. 

Most of all, his vision stayed the same. Not that he expected it to change. The colors were there, as they’d been for all of his life. He knew Jess wasn’t his soulmate because his soulmate had been a part of him since the day he was born.

Dean.

If Dean died, Sam knew there would be no moving on. No time to rest and grieve before continuing on with his life. There would be no life.

“Sam…” Dean’s hand settled on Sam’s shoulder, squeezing gently to comfort him.

Sam let out a breath, deflated and melted into Dean’s touch. He’d just buried an empty casket for the women he’d loved, but Dean’s presence felt like home. He knew the opposite wouldn't be true. If he lost Dean, there would be no consoling him. Not even Jess could take the place of his true soulmate. 

Still…

He laid his bouquet of brightly colored flowers at the headstone, next to all the others. She’d found her soulmate and was ‘buried’ next to him. They’d be together forever and Sam was at least glad for that.

“Let’s go,” he choked out to his brother. Dean nodded and kept a hand on him, guiding him back to the car that had been and was once again his home. 

“You okay?” Dean asked quietly, carefully, as he turned the key in the ignition and looked at Sam.

“Yeah.” And he was. He wanted to be devastated, broken beyond repair, but he wasn’t. All his life he wanted to believe that soulmates weren’t real, just something everyone believed. He wanted to think he could love someone as much as he did his brother. And now he was proven wrong. He knew now that Dean would always be the most important person to him.

“I’m okay.” He stated again with a sigh. Dean nodded and put the car in drive. Sam didn’t know where they were going, but he doubted that Dean did either. They just needed to drive. 

~

“What was it like?” Dean’s voice broke through the silence and the darkness in the motel room. Sam had been feigning sleep, but Dean had known. He always knew. Sam rolled onto his sisde and looked towards Dean until his eyes adjusted enough to see the outline of his older brother.

“What was what like?”

“Being with another person.” Dean’s voice was quiet, hesitant.

“You know… you’ve been with tons of people.”

“Not like… not like that. I’ve had plenty of flings, but I’ve never stuck around with anyone. Never tried to make anything work.” Dean shrugged. “So what was it like?”

“It was…” Sam tried to think of the words to explain it. The only thing he had to compare it to was his relationship with Dean and their soul bond. “It was nice.”

“That’s it? Nice?” Dean scoffed.

“It was sweet. It wasn’t intense. There wasn’t a… pull. It didn’t feel like I needed her, but I wanted her… and it. It was… watered down, but nice.” Sam fluffed his pillow with a well placed punch to the side and listened as Dean processed the information.

“Was it worth it?” 

“I think so. If nothing else… I at least learned a lot from the experience, and I think we both just needed to be kind of broken together for a while.”

“Broken?” Dean sounded curious and a little worried.

“Her soulmate died in highschool. She knew she wasn’t going to have that again, but we kinda got each other… and the sex was nice.” Sam chuckled. Dean laughed, seeming content with the answers he’d received. 

They settled in silence once more and Sam rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling. As he stared, his eyes began to well up and the ceiling blurred.

“I kept thinking…” Sam started. “I thought… thank God it wasn’t you up on that ceiling.” He whispered his confession. Dean didn’t reply. There was nothing he could really say to that. Nothing that would make Sam feel less guilty about it.


	2. Marriage is a Rainbow Between Two Hearts

Sam smiled, eyes closed, feeling the warm breeze as it tickled his hair over his forehead. The cool grass beneath him and the soft weight on his stomach comforted him.

“Mmm... tell me about the trees.” Jess asked of him as she used him for a pillow.

Sam opened his eyes, the bright sun blinding him for a moment before the white faded into brilliant colors all around him. The colorful world that he'd always known and took for granted.

“The leaves above us are bright green. Almost like your belt on your wedding dress. The bark is like a chocolate bar.” He wished there was a better vocabulary for the things he saw, but why would society create new words and descriptions for something only a fraction of the population ever saw and only for about half of their lives at the most. Unless you were Sam or Dean Winchester.

“It's autumn.” Jessica's voice reminded him. Sam looked to the side to find a tree that had started to turn colors.

“Over by the picnic tables.” He pushed up on his elbows and pointed. Jess sat up and found the tree. “That one. The leaves at the bottom are mostly still green. It fades into a yellow as it get closer to the sun.”

Jess smiled and sighed, leaning back to lay against him once again.

“Thank you.”

Sam didn't mind describing the colors to his girlfriend. She, at least, had a frame of reference. Most people who asked had no idea how to imagine and Sam didn't know how to make them understand.

Jessica had about four years of color. Sam had heard all about it. She kept a wedding photo on display and he didn't mind. There was no jealousy as he also had a different soulmate.

She'd met Ryan, her soulmate, during her freshman year of highschool. When the cancer diagnosis came, they'd gotten married. All of their school friends were invited and the girls were jealous. True soulmates were allowed to be wed at any age as long as they had permission from their parents and a place to live.

As with all weddings, theirs was a burst of colors and brightness. Jessica's dress had a magenta bodice, a lime green belt, and a flowing skirt of all different colors. Ryan's suit was gray with rainbow pinstripes. The bride's maids wore orange and the groom's men wore yellow. The guests, following tradition, wore colors if they were soulmated and black if they hadn't met their mates yet. 

They lived at Ryan's parent's house for two years of wedded bliss before the cancer won and Jessica's life lost it's color again. 

She still had nightmares of everything being slowly desaturated as Ryan's life dwindled and faded away. She was considered lucky to have met her soulmate, even though the pain of losing him was the hardest thing she'd ever lived through.

Sam was happy for Jessica, that she'd had four years when she could be with the one she was meant for. He enjoyed hearing of that time and seeing the photos. He felt bad that he couldn't give it back to her again. If he and Jess were to get married... in a state where non-soulmates could legally get married, it would be a black and white affair. Colors were for soulmates only. 

Then again... he didn't know if Jess would even want to try again. He hoped she would since it was his only chance to be married. 

His soulmate was completely out of the question. 

He didn't even know if it would be allowed.

He couldn't marry his brother.


	3. And Then The World Exploded

Dean sat in the waiting room, swinging his legs back and forth as his four year old body was too small for the adult chairs. He was getting restless and impatient. His dad left him with a watchful nurse what seemed like hours ago. His mom had been hidden away and they told him that he would have a little brother the next time he saw her.

He didn't need a little brother. He didn't want to share his parents. They were his and his alone.

“Dean?”

He looked up and saw his dad's smiling face. He jumped off the chair and ran to him.

“Dean, do you want to meet your brother Sammy?” John asked, lifting the boy into his arms with a hug.

“No. do I have to? Can't it just be us and no sharing?” Dean fiddled with John's shirt as he mumbled. John laughed. 

“Too late for that. He's already here. But hey... he's your brother. Nobody else's. Only yours.”

“Mine?” Dean looked up at him with wide eyes.

“Yours.” John nodded. Dean's face lit up with a grin.

“Yeah! I wanna see my brother!”

John responded by bouncing the boy and carried him from the waiting room and down the hall. They reached a door and John opened it. On the bed sat Mary, sweaty and glowing with love. There was a blanketed bundle in her arms.

As they approached, Dean pushed away from John's torso and landed gently on Mary's bed, where he crawled up from her legs to the head of the bed.

“Hi, Mommy. Is that mine?” Dean pointed to the blankets.

“Yes, honey. Meet your new baby brother.” Mary folded the blankets back and Dean pushed closer to see Sammy's face. He was a cute little thing, all splotchy and squishy.

“I like him.” Dean decided with a nod. Mary breathed a quiet amused chuckle. The bouncing from her laugh woke the baby and Sam opened his eyes.

That's when Dean gasped and fell back. He looked around the room and at his parents, then brought his knees up to his chest and started screaming.

Mary covered Sammy's ears and held him close as John reached for Dean. The four year old flailed and struggled against John's grip and they had to call a doctor in.

The hysterical child had to be mildly sedated before anyone could make any sense of what happened.

One hour later, they had their answer. John and Mary weren't sure how they felt about it. Awkward, yes. Scared, definitely. 

Their sons were soulmates.

The burst of color had frightened the toddler into a panicked melt down. Too young to understand, he didn't even recognize his parents at first with the colorful skin and hair.

That night, Mary cried.


	4. The Color of Whiskey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> very short one for john today

Sam and Dean grew up bright, Sam brighter than most. The doctors said the introduction of colors at such an early age (the earliest in recorded history) helped to stimulate the baby’s mind and development at an accelerated rate.

The two brothers grew up close, closer than most siblings. Sometimes John wondered if it was all the soulmate bond, or if the constant moving and isolation of his sons had encouraged their closeness as well.

No matter what, he could see no other way around it. Maybe the universe had always known Mary would die. Maybe the universe knew that Sam and Dean would need to depend on each other. Maybe that’s why the universe soulmated them. Maybe it was the only way to ensure their survival. 

Lord knew the life of a hunter would keep them from finding anyone else with whom to spend their lives with anyway.

John knocked back a glass of what he knew to be brown liquid, though his eyes only saw gray. He never saw Sam’s baby blue eyes finally develop their own color as he grew up. He saw Dean’s hair lose a bit of it’s bright shine, but he didn’t know what color it was now. Not really. And were Dean’s eyes still bright green? Were Sam’s still blue or were they green as well? What color was his hair?

What color shirt was he even wearing right now?

Questions burned in his mind as the alcohol burned his throat. 

He missed colors. He missed the pink of Mary’s cheeks when she laughed, the yellow of her hair, the red of her lips after they kissed.

He missed his wife.

He missed his soulmate.


	5. And the Bible Didn't Mention Us

The drive had been quiet and tense. Roosevelt Asylum was in the rear view mirror, but it seemed to be hanging on by the bumper of the car. Dean wouldn't even let Sam help clean out the wounds from the salt blast on his chest. It wasn't until they were lying in bed, unable to sleep, that Dean finally said something.

“All those things you said...”

“Dean, that was Ellicot.”

“Was it? Because, the way I see it, dude just amplified feelings that were already there.”

“To the point of insanity, Dean. You think that guy would have killed his wife on his own? They were going to have kids. They were soulmates.”

“And so are we! But that didn't stop you. You... you pulled that trigger four fuckin' times. So maybe you resent me, hate me, at least a little.”

“No.”

“Yeah. I mean... Sam, wouldn't you have been happier if you had a regular soulmate like everyone else? A real girlfriend and not some shadow or substitute?”

Sam was quiet as he thought how to respond. He knew he'd never trade Dean for anything or anyone else. And he'd never actually thought the idea of being romantically or sexually involved with Dean would be less than enjoyable. He'd always wanted it. But the world... and Dean didn't. His whole life had been a series of uncomfortable conversations with teachers, doctors, their own father. Nobody knew what to do with Sam and Dean. Nobody was comfortable with them. Nobody knew what to tell them. If it was wrong or right or anything.

“Remember my first week of school?” Sam asked. Dean shrugged and frowned, staring at the ceiling.

“What? Sam, I'm trying to have an actual conversation here. Real shit.”

“I know... just... listen.”

“Yeah, okay... first week of school. What about it?” Dean sighed. He had no idea where Sam was going with this.

“Do you remember when I came home and kissed you?”

Dean's mind was suddenly bombarded with memories from childhood that he'd forgotten.

Dean had stayed home from school to help John pack up for a hunt. He'd felt so important and grown up at the age of nine, being allowed to even touch the hunting equipment.

Sam had raced home after school, thrown the door open, and ran up to Dean.

“Hey, Sammy. What'd you learn today?” He asked his younger brother with a smile. Sam's answer was to tug Dean until the older boy was bent to his own height. Then he planted a giant kiss on Dean's lips.

“What the hell?” Dean pulled away in surprise. Sam stared back at him with wide eyes that were filling up with hurt.

“Miss Dais said soulmates get married. She said soulmates fall in love. And they have babies and live happily ever after. Cinderella and Prince Charming, Sleeping Beauty and Prince Philip, Ariel and Prince Eric. They all got the colors like me and you!” Sam explained.

“Sammy, it's different for us. I'm your brother. We're brothers. We can't do that.”

Sam looked like his world and all the toys in it were just ripped away from him.

“But Miss Daisy said...”

“Miss Daisy is stupid, okay?” Dean growled, pushing Sam away. “You'll never fall in love and you'll never get married. Neither will I. So just... forget about all that stuff.”

Yeah, Dean remembered that day. He remembered that he'd cruelly broken the heart of a five year old. Didn't know why Sam was bringing it up now.

“I remember that. Yeah, Sam.” He sat up in the bed and scrubbed a hand down his face. 

“I loved you. Still do.” Sam shrugged. “You asked if I'd be happier with a regular soulmate. The answer is no. I can't imagine having someone else... and I don't want to. I don't want anyone else but you.”

Sam seemed so calm, so cool and collected. Dean thought maybe Sam had misunderstood him, or maybe he'd misunderstood Sam.

“Yeah, but what about someone you could fall in love with? Have what you tried to have with Jessica?”

“Same answer. Just want you.”

Sam smiled and rolled over on his bed, facing away from Dean. He knew his brother would need some time away from his eyes to process what Sam had just revealed.

**Author's Note:**

> comments? questions? let me know what you think...


End file.
